NZ – MENZ – Join the GateKept debate(See Note below) – Domestic Violence – from Ideology to Inclusion

For the original Article click this LINK

First NOTE;

It seems my 2 in depth posts on this issue on MENZ were a little to much for the GateKeepers – Read them below before joining the limited debate @ MENZ – With respect, GOD knows what other important input is filter from MENZ BLOG – Onward – Jim

GO –


Domestic Violence – from Ideology to Inclusion

Filed under: General — julie @ 5:42 pm

Should Domestic Violence in New Zealand be portrayed as men are batterers and women are victims? Should we really be shown one sided abuse through Family Violence campaigns, policies, advertisements on TV and radio? Should our laws, police work and community care reflect this Ideology of men are bad and women are good?

Here is something worth watching to gain some perspective of what’s going on with Domestic Violence and Ideology from Paul Elam AKA

Glenn Sack’s has been writing quite a bit about the Los Angeles domestic violence conference “From Ideology to Inclusion 2009: New Directions in Domestic Violence Research and Intervention.”

The conference featured many domestic violence dissidents–researchers and clinicians who do not believe that the mainstream domestic violence establishment and its “men as perpetrators/women as victims” conceptual framework is properly serving those involved in family violence.

One of Glenn’s articles discusses Carol Crabson, the Executive Director of the Valley Oasis domestic violence shelter, which has served male victims for 17 years. She discussed her experiences running a shelter which accepts male victims and explained the way their refuge treatment centre is set up and run.

Our setup is conducive to being able to provide a wide variety of services to all victims of domestic violence.

We do have services specifically for male victims. They receive individual counselling, they receive men’s support groups, they receive case management on an individual basis. But we also utilise transference and counter-transference in our groups. And we bring both genders in to do therapeutic groups. And what we find is that it’s very effective to them.

NZ already has programs like this working in other fields. We are far behind the times when it comes to Domestic Violence.

Carol continues…

Being able to talk to a male, for a female victim, who is not going to be abusive to her, who is not going to be condescending, or is not going to verbally attack her — and vice versa — really, it’s part of the healing process. To be able to sit in a room with someone that will totally respect you, that can validate your feelings and your issues…

Many times what we get is that we will get a female sitting in a room with a male victim who will actually apologise to the male victim for what the spouse has done, and vice versa. The healing power of that is just — you can almost watch it happen in a matter of seconds. That there’s this change, this shift, this softness that comes over the faces of these two individuals. It’s so powerful and rewarding.

Wow! This is a wonderful way to empower men and women. You just can’t imagine the freedom you get when working with both sexes. It keeps you balanced.

Hey, few can imagine the feelings and thoughts that come over a person who is surrounded with one sex as victims and one sex as perpetrators. It can turn the heart black.

But if somehow we could get past the black hearts and look to freedom where everyone is able to share their experiences with the opposite sex and they can share their story back, magic will happen for gender equity. And not just that but each sex will help one another to become strong.

Shame we have some horrid female advocates who stop progress in the name of Ideology. Shame on them for not putting the welfare of men, women and children above their own bias.

Comments (6)

6 Responses to “Domestic Violence – from Ideology to Inclusion”

1.      Jim Bailey says:

Mon 3rd August 2009 at 5:57 pm

Just to add a little balance to the NZ and US view – An article just in from the UK

For the original Article/Video click this LINK

GO –

Comments and Credits below

Women’s refuge closed by ‘politically correct’ council as it does not cater for abused men
By Andy Dolan
Last updated at 2:12 AM on 03rd August 2009

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Supporters of a women’s refuge were ’shocked and stunned’ to be told it is being closed – because it does not cater for men.

The emergency shelter was set up 13 years ago for women and children and adult males are not allowed to stay.

But council officials have now ruled that, because it does not serve both sexes equally, the money used to run the home would be better spent on an ‘outreach service’ to help battered husbands as well as wives in their own homes.

Unequal: An emergency shelter set up for abused women has been forced to close because it does not cater for men

Brian Ellis, a councillor who helped set up the refuge in Weymouth, Dorset, in 1986, branded the move a ’step backwards’.

‘It doesn’t make sense,’ he said. ‘The women are there because of what men have done to them and their children. When people suffer from domestic violence they need an immediate escape and that’s being taken away.’

Refuge, a charity for women and children affected by domestic violence, said: ‘There are not enough refuges for women as it is.

‘It’s already difficult to get help and women often have to travel long distances. Losing beds that are already there is really devastating. It is a whole community that has lost that kind of safety.’

The shelter, which can accommodate six families, costs £82,780 a year to run.

It is funded by Dorset Supporting People – a partnership of Dorset County Council, six local district and borough councils, NHS Dorset and Dorset Probation.

The partnership said the refuge will close in March. A housing association which owns the building is working to find the women alternative accommodation.

One mother, 47, who used the refuge after being abused by her husband for years, said: ‘I wasn’t sure about where to go and what to do and then I found out about the Weycan’t-mouth refuge. It was a place where I felt safe and I hadn’t felt that for a long time.

‘I can’t believe they are going to close it – it’s so important I can’t even put it into words.’

A domestic violence outreach worker, who asked not to be named, said she was shocked and added: ‘If there was a need for this 20 years ago then I see why not now. They are always full and there are women constantly trying to get in. I just don’t understand it.’

In the last year, 6,323 people have reported domestic violence to Dorset Police.

Dorset County Council confirmed that one reason for closure was the lack of facilities for men.

A spokesman said: ‘We want to make sure both men and women are catered for and we are not able to do that within the small building.’

Anthony Wilsdon, spokesman for Supporting People, said the new outreach service would help more people. He said: ‘We have identified a need to support more people in their own homes.

‘There is also a need to make support open to male victims and families with older male children.’

Read more:


Up on Ration Shed; with thanks to Eugen Hockenjos – UK – North London

FAMILY Orientated Authors are WELCOME.

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Onward – Jim


2.      Allan says:

Mon 3rd August 2009 at 6:03 pm

Very little will change until we get beter public acceptance of female violence. When that occurs much will change.


3.      julie says:

Mon 3rd August 2009 at 6:09 pm

Thanks Jim for sharing this news. Things have to be fair and equal. Women can’t just expect to make all men things 50% women things and then get upset when it comes their turn to be equal.


4.      alastair says:

Mon 3rd August 2009 at 6:16 pm

You got the Database Julie, It’s already out of date! I will disseminate V1.0 soon

Allan, did I send you a copy?

John Can I send you a copy?


5.      amfortas says:

Mon 3rd August 2009 at 8:16 pm

Well done Jools.


6.      Men At Risk says:

Mon 3rd August 2009 at 11:52 pm

I completely agree with Julie.

And moreover, I reckon there will be a massive decrease in domestic violence cases as well as women and men now will know that there is no where to go.

Men all around the world are treated as mere Violent creatures! But, what leads a man to a state like that? Isn’t that something that needs to be analyzed!

Domestic violence is the outcome of both partners and not just the male partner and it has to be treated so. This is a no-brain’r to me. Physical violence is in most cases the end-product of a victim of mental, psychological and emotional abuse. But, why isn’t law-makers able to get this simple thing into their minds? It’s so clear that this is pure FEMINISM? If the law could cure the base-product there wouldn’t be any end-product.

All men are not born as mentally handicapped who know just one thing – DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. Situations and circumstances tend to push most of them to such a state and the female partners also have their part of abuse towards men in most of the cases. And that’s a hard to digest and hard to accept FACT for most feminists out there.

Government must make Anger management and / or relationship courses compulsory to all those who want to get into a relation. Instead of spending money on solving such domestic violence cases why doesn’t the government invest in eliminated the route cause by giving awareness to all those who are getting into a relation!

Think Think Think


7.      Jim Bailey says:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Tue 4th August 2009 at 2:28 am

The DVA like so called Child Support Act are mearly tools to shift public sympathy and money toward those who destroy our **Whole Natural Biological FAMILIES**.

The way to BLOCK both these and other evils FAMILY faces, is to Enshrine **Preferential Equal Shared Parenting** deep within World-Wide FAMILY Law and Social Policy.

Thus booting GOVT out of FAMILY other than to support the most important task any of us will ever have – Raising Kids.

Thus taking the fight out of the Empire of Injustice that has been created and built on destroying good old fashioned Mum, Dad and all 4 Grand Parents leading to Kids being valued by their **Whole Natural Biological FAMILY** whether Mum and Dad remain friends or not.

Onward in a fathers coalition and promoting the mission of Ration Shed – Jim


8.      Jim Bailey says:

Your comment is awaiting moderation.

Tue 4th August 2009 at 2:43 am

Further to comment 7,

One must realise the action suggested in no 7 (Enshrining **Equal Parenting**) where we drive Law back to honouring COMMON Law and restricting the use of ownership of Children to the **Whole Natural Biological FAMILY** (Maori be more wise than Euro on these matters) rather than Govt is very threatening to our Inland revenue as they will not be able to fund govt on the numbers of birth certificates produced.

Hope I haven’t lost most of you – There has been no subject change – Just depth gained.

Onward in a fathers coalition and promoting the mission of Ration Shed – Jim


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