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Kids benefit from both parents
In a recent column, I wrote that kids often go with the mother in a divorce. Most states use the “primary caretaker” standard. It basically takes in to account who cooks and cleans for the children. Who handles soccer practice, homework, school lunches, etc. Statistically it’s mom.
I have some great friends who are divorced dads. Of them, only one has full custody. These are men who have suffered infidelity, mental abuse, near-financial ruin, and yet, got stuck with visitation. That’s not fair, but that’s life.
There is no question that children benefit from spending time with both parents. It’s hard for mom to teach a young man to shave or tie his tie. It is next to impossible for dad to teach a daughter how to curl her hair and do make-up.
Again, that’s life.
For those going through divorce, it is a hard road, but it doesn’t need to be harder. The fact that divorce has even been discussed usually means both sides are ready to move on. Do not let the children feel the pain of being caught in a tug-of-war. When one side uses custody to get back at the other for some wrong, the kids are the ones who get hurt.
When divorce is hotly contested in court, the lawyers take all the money. There is also a good chance the kids are going to be put in a position where they spend much more time with one parent over the other.
If it can be worked out civilly, the kids will win in the end.
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Author: Michael Ramos
Michael Ramos is an Examiner from Salt Lake City. You can see Michael’s articles on Michael’s Home Page.