USA – Randi James – Only a Minority of Families with Court-Ordered Joint Custody are Able to Co- Parent

For the original Article/Video click this LINK

GO – http://www.randijames.com/2009/07/only-minority-of-families-with-court.html?dsq=13413188#comment-13413188

My comments and Credits below

 

Only a Minority of Families with Court-Ordered Joint Custody are Able to Co-Parent

(emphasis mine)

“In the large majority of divorcing families, both parents have been involved with the children on a daily basis. Simple continuity with the past, in terms of the roles of the two parents in the lives of the children, is hardly possible. The relationship between parents and children must change markedly.”
(Page 1 in Dividing the Child)

” the coparental relationship between divorced parents is something that needs to be constructed, not something that can simply be carried over from pre-separation patterns. It takes times and effort on the part of both parents to arrange their lives in such a way that the children can spend time in both parental households ”
(Page 276 in Dividing the Child)

Only a minority of our families–about 30 percent were able to establish cooperative coparenting relationships. Spousal disengagement, which essentially involved parallel parenting with little communication had become the most common pattern about a quarter of our families remained conflicted at the end of three and a half years.”
(Page 277 in Dividing the Child)

“While our study did not attempt to measure the impact of coparenting relations on the well-being of children, the results of the follow-up study of the adolescents in our sample families, as well as the research of others, makes us confident that there are important effects. Children derive real benefits–psychological, social, and economic–when divorced parents can have cooperative coparenting relationships. With conflicted coparental relationships, on the other hand, children are more likely to be caught in the middle, with real adverse effects on the child.
(Page 277 in Dividing the Child)

“A more radical alternative to the present best interests custody standard is a presumption in favor of joint physical custody. We oppose such a presumption. We are deeply concerned about the use of joint physical custody in cases where there is substantial parental conflict such conflict can create grave risks for children. We do not think it good for children to feel caught in the middle of parental conflict, and in those cases where the parents are involved in a bitter dispute we believe a presumption for joint custody would do harm . . . We wish to note, however, that joint custody can work very well when parents are able to cooperate. Thus we are by no means recommending that joint custody be denied to parents who want to try it.”
(Pages 284-285 in Dividing the Child)

–Eleanor Maccoby and Robert Mnookin

_____

This, is NOT an endorsement for court-ordered joint custody or shared parenting. This can be construed by those profiteers involved in therapeutic jurisprudence (custody evauluators, parenting coordinators) as an endorsement for more meddling in divorce business. After all, if shared parenting doesn’t work (when forced), then let’s force the parents to make it work, and threaten them with the law.

Shared parenting works for all the families who choose to do so. Choose. And even so, that arrangement can always be changed…modified…by choice.

Take note of the very first sentence–wherein the authors state that both parents have been involved with the children on a daily basis. What does this mean? Involved. Ask what type of shared parenting existed in the intact relationship. Bet it wasn’t 50-50!

Joint custody is easy for judges.

Joint custody is profitable for profiteers.

Joint custody is pleasant when it is chosen by the parents.

Forced joint custody suck for the kids.

Related Posts :

child custody

divorce

shared parenting

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Up on Ration Shed; with thanks to Randi James

 

New Zealand has failed our Kids by using the same excuses as above – My and many other cases expose another problem in that my Sons Mother has been fully supported by Social Services from the moment of his Birth.

 

I believe she has trafficked her body, deceived me with her false affections and now traffics him in order to get what we call in New Zealand the DPB – I.E. NZGovt support Child Trafficking.

 

We have had several forms of FAMILY Court Ordered **Equal Parenting** over the years since my Son was 2 – While able to work I overoad her trafficking and the NZGovt support with my good income and lots of help from friends and family, both male and female.

 

Then in mid 2000, I faced up to increasing pain in my chest as it simply got to much to discover, I had overridden Angina and serious reflux pain for many years – After several procedures which still continue today and much co-operation on behalf other medical fraternity and friends we never missed our by then week about **Equal Parenting**.

 

BUT! Then I had become dependent on Social Services and am most thankful they granted me a Single Persons Invalids Benefit .

 

WOW seems wonderful BUT!

 

MSD – WINZ – Our social Services refused and still refuse to recognise our FAMILY Court Ordered **Equal Parenting**.

 

BY the miracle working power of God we managed week about **Equal Parenting** with NO help from MSD WINZ for 9 years.

 

I simply gave up after 9 years of battling WINZ and our local Men and their FAMILIES groups for support WINZ financially – Mens groups politically.

 

Our Men and their FAMILIES groups have also chastised me for not being able to work as most are so arrogant not to recognise that I simply can’t.

 

Javan, my Son now 13 has lived with his Mother full time for nearly a year with full support from MSD – WINZ and our local Churches, even mine.

 

We have had a change of Government in this time and I did hope they would be more FAMILY Friendly simply because they claim to be – How naive I was.

 

Where to from here

 

We will see were God leads me

 

I have run out of ideas with Church, Govt and our local Men and their FAMILIES groups either standing against those of us caught in this regime or simply too apathetic to stand with us.

 

Onward – Jim

 

FAMILY Orientated Authors are WELCOME.

Take note Go https://rationshed.wordpress.com/whole-natural-biological-family-authors-are-welcome

 

Onward – Jim

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