|An Open Letter to John Adams
Posted: 22 Jul 2009 05:18 AM PDT
Ohio State Rep John Adams has re-introduced legislation into the Ohio legislature that requires that the approval of a biological father must be obtained prior to a woman obtaining an abortion. There are exceptions of course which make sense, such as rape and incest and the life of mom. The bill also provides penalties for women who slay their fetus using a false or fictitious name.
This is big stuff that I foresee as having two major effects if passed.
One, it would drastically lower the rates of abortion, for it would require two to agree that the unborn child does not deserve the right to live. Given that men as a sex are much less enamored of fetuscide than are women, this would represent a huge number of lives saved.
Two, it would be a shift toward re-establish men’s rights as rights worth respecting wrt reproduction. If it required the consent of two to make a life, it should require the consent of two to end one. Moreover, it would give men more of a legal stake in the life of their children, a stake that is denied them today by those who push for the woman to have absolute control over a child then blame men for not taking a more active interest in their child’s well-being. It is time for children’s issues to cease being a subset of women’s issues and become society’s concern.
While I strongly suspect that this legislation doesn’t stand a snowball’s chance of passing, as the abortionette lobby and others concerned with maintaining absolute female autonomy and minimal female accountability will be coming out full bore against it, I think it worthwhile to encourage the brave soul who introduced this legislation in the first place.
Here is my letter to Mr. Adams:
While I am not an Ohio resident, having lived only a short time in the Dayton area before moving away to a better employment market, I wanted to express my sincerest thanks for your introduction of House Bill 252 into the Ohio State Legislature.
If one is deeply concerned about the holocaust of abortion in our country, as I am, then this bill would go a long way toward saving the lives of many thousands upon thousands of the most vulnerable Ohioans. For no other reason alone, sir, you are to be commended.
Moreover, if one is concerned about the lopsided state of reproductive rights in this country, as I am, then this bill also represents an important step toward re-investing the weakest link the American family–the father–in the fate and destiny of his children. This bill appears to restore a degree of autonomy and authority to the father with respect to the welfare of his future child(ren). This authority and autonomy will accompany his responsibilities in an equation where he presently has next to none of the former two and nearly all of the latter. As a man, a husband, and a father of three young men, I thank you again for your heroic efforts.
I am certain that you will probably receive many angry and opprobrius messages in opposition to this piece of legislation. I urge you to ignore them and hold fast to the principles that led you to not only introduce but re-introduce this legislation.
Thank you again for your bravery sir. Keep the faith and keep fighting the good fight. I wish there were more brave fellows out there such as yourself.
If you have a coupla alka-seltzers on hand and want some free funnery, cruise on over to Feministing and see how those fine specimens of the female species are handling this bill. Amusing reading there, I promise, particularly when the lone XY chromo shows up in the comments to troll a bit and ruffle some feathers. Some mild blue language, so be forewarned.
Rep Adams can be reached at the following contact information. Please take the time to write in support, for I’m certain the fembots are working themselves into a froth over this one.
Phone: (614) 466-1507
Serious hat tippage to Kim at Equal But Different.
|Do Men Become Better Fathers After Divorce?
Posted: 21 Jul 2009 10:10 AM PDT
So asks “divorce expert” and divorce therapist Jill Brooke in the HuffPo. It appears that, to her, the answer is a resounding yes:
What finally made him a better father? Getting a divorce. “The divorce was such a shock and forced me to take stock of who I was and what success should look like,” said Giles, whose ex-wife Nancy Claus sought a divorce in 2001. “I came to realize that I had been providing for my children but needed to be more to them. ”
When his daughters visited, Giles morphed into a multi-tasker taking on chores previously done by his wife including cooking, buying cosmetics and remembering to buy eggs and bacon at the market. “I wish he would have been as involved and helpful when we were married,” said Claus. “But he has definitely become a much better Dad after our divorce.”
I myself have become a better husband and father after the divorce.* That event provided the catalyst for a wholesale re-assessment of my priorities in life. Before, I was focused on my job, doing the providing thing, and just assuming that my wife’s vows of “death till us part” actually meant something. The divorce proved that taking her word for granted was a huge mistake, and also demonstrated to me that a father’s place is in the home as its leader, not out doing the wage-slave career gig in which he demotes himself to the status of walking ATM.
That a female author writing in the HuffPo would find divorce to be a good thing…the experience makes men better, more involved fathers**…surprises me not. Divorce Expert Brooke joins the rah-rah chorus of women who attempt to cast divorce as a net positive for women, for children, and for men.
The problem for Brooke is that there are many ways to accomplish the re-education of husbands and fathers away from the traditional industrial-age provider role*** without destroying a family and harming children in the process. Brooke also neglects to note the role that many women have in the organization of the home and the roles in which each spouse assumes. As MRA Glenn Sacks notes:
His ex says, “I wish he would have been as involved and helpful when we were married.” This may be true, but I would add that I’m sure she found his good income very “helpful” too.
A woman’s discerning, critical nature doesn’t disappear on her wedding day. Most marital problems and marriage counseling sessions revolve around why the wife is unhappy with her husband, even though they could just as easily be about why the husband is unhappy with the wife. In this common pre-divorce scenario there are only two possibilities-either she’s a great wife and he’s a lousy husband, or she’s far more critical of him than he is of her. Usually it’s the latter…
On the whole, presuming that men are permitted to be fathers by the exes, I agree that men sometimes do become better fathers after a divorce. Such a devastating and life-changing event prompts serious introspection in most people. But a divorce isn’t necessary for this shift in priorities to take place…I contend that said re-programming could result from browsing MRA/FRA sites, from simply getting a bit older and wiser and learning that career and ambition aren’t all they’re cracked up to be, or from choices that the couple makes to design their home life. Another route to address these out-of-whack priorities would be to attack the harmful cultural meme that men are to be material providers first and foremost (neglecting the other more important leader/provider roles), thereby teaching young men that there is more to being a husband and father than bringing home the bacon.
Of course, all these steps concentrate on changing a man’s priorities…hand-in-glove with this change would be the necessary shift in priorities and attitudes among wives that is beyond the scope of this present post.
Now no story on family would be complete without left-wing gadfly Stephanie Coontz weighing in to knock men down a peg or two, or at least perpetuate the notion that men just don’t care:
* At least I’d like to think so. For an objective opinion, you’d have to ask Mrs Wapiti.
** Better fathers on a divorced woman’s terms, naturally.
*** This begs the question of whether she would have married said man in the first place if he were not such a high achiever with amibition, status, and resources.
HT: Glenn Sacks